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Showing posts from 2020

work-life balance

most of this year i would summarize up to be BURNOUT (from work). i literally worked a straight 9 hours a day and would feel guilty/stressed if i even had to step like 10-15 minutes to prep lunch - because the work was seriously endless. it was always just being RE-active because there was no time to ever do anything proactively or even look at your work retroactively. it was pretty much when COVID hit that my work became like that - so i dealt with it for about eight months. i didn't really understand what 'burn out' meant but man, do i understand it now after having experienced it. subconciously waking up early to do work because every day was a long day ahead. not being able to have ANY time for myself. constantly wondering to myself why the fuck am i doing this to myself and the guilt of not bringing in income if i were to quit - and with the presence of COVID, feeling like i was ungrateful for hating my situation (having a job even though i was miserable, vs not havin

'mommy lay down!'

AHHHH MY MAMA HEART.. we were playing with Mya before bed like we always do and she got the idea to tuck me in with a bath towel and told me to lie down on the floor. i pretended to sleep and she kept laying a bath towel over me, over and over again. she wanted to lay it perfectly flat and it wasn’t the way she wanted it. she seriously did this for like 30 minutes and i couldn’t contain my smile and laughter because it was so fucking endearing and the way she was doing it was so gentle and loving.. especially when her warm lil baby hands would graze over my bare arms. she was so quiet as if i were really sleeping and i could hear her lil concentrated baby breaths. when i would pretend to wake up to actually get her ready to sleep she would just say “Mommy lay down.” i thanked her one time for tucking me in and she had the proudest smile on her face. she stopped tucking me in and sat a couple of feet away to watch me sleep. my dear heart! i love her so fucking much. i think she would ha

22 month update

current fav toy is a HUGE box that she loves walking in and out of. one of the flaps acts as a door.  likes to direct/tell mommy/daddy what to do (go inside the box - "mommy inside?? mommy inside? mommy inside!!!")  sometimes picks up books on her own and turns pages / looks at them by herself doesn't like going in the stroller and throws a tantrum/cries probably b/c she wants to move around. right now it seems like the trick is to get her snacks - and carlo just started using the baby carrier again walks outside for longer periods of time, while holding our hand. she gets scared easily when she hears loud cars, or a train or if she feels like she's on an open street and then just clamors to come up. hopefully she'll just get bigger and better! it's kinda crazy that those kinds of sounds are just white noise to us as adults, but i can definitely understand if you're a tiny baby that it's super scary and foreign hates diaper changes! always runs away lo

21 month update

 can FINALLY jump and launch her feet off the floor (last month was doing the motion but feet never left the floor) favorite song lately has been itsy bitsy spider went to the zoo and aquarium for the first time. favs were ducks, lynx, and sharks + stingrays started counting or at least reciting numbers! def knows up to 10 started LOVING reading when she's sitting in our laps. calls for 'beekle' book specifically and dear girl runs away when we say to change her diaper (lol) says "NO DADDY" when we ask if shes pooping (as if she's embarassed or annoyed almost lol) new loves: golden kiwis and red grapes (doesn't care for green grapes for some reason..) stopped loving rice as much. started eating more meat! (and also less veggies T_T) fav snacks are 100% the baked pea snacks. but surprisingly loves freeze dried fruit (esp. mangos) and even okra! expert at shape sorter now! knows what shapes go where by looking at it but still having trouble fitting in shapes

20 month update

can form 2 word sentences - off the top of my head like - daddy no, mommy no, watch “tb" 2 incisors coming in so i think like 10 teeth now? (4 in the back, 4 on top, 4 on bottom, then 2 on top starting to come out) can almost jump still more affectionate than ever gives smooches asks for mommy or daddy when only one of us goes out and she’s wondering where the other one is says ‘ye ye mama’ for my phone bc she’s used to us calling fam when she sees a phone can sing up to d for the alphabets but knows diff parts of the songs in pieces sings parts of other songs like “heads shoulders knees and toes” and can point to those parts (so cute!) and the way she says “UP-ABA” for up above the sky. loves singing ROUND AND ROUND to herself and sing-songs words to the tune of "are you sleeping".. sings “TO YOUUU” for happy birthday super quick learner and def copies what we do from observation.. like i was putting a book cover back on a book and she tried to copy it knows some colors

19 month update

 a bit late but finally fall here in NY and the little one turns 19 months. she's learning so much at an even higher exponential rate! much more conscious about what/how we're speaking/acting since it really is like monkey-see-monkey-do. she's such a happy little girl and i don't think i'll ever get over how cute she looks when she's running towards me with such reckless abandon. i think my favorite new things that she's been doing are: wanting to hold hands with both me & carlo when she's out walking sometimes singing to herself (knows parts of the abc song here n there) playing peekaboo with me on the bed (she says 'ka-boo..") she JUST started actually wanting to kiss/hug us out of her own accord recently. UGH ITS TOO CUTE. sitting in my lap (she likes opening and closing my legs) i think her favorite food is probably still noodles. not sure if she likes noodles more than rice. her favorite snack hands down are those baked snap peas becomi

18 month update

 holy moly, time flies! just like that, we're on our last weeks of summer. 18 months :) late, but we FINALLY weaned her off her baby bottles. she was only having one in the morning but technically this is the latest point that you should be weaning them off because they're developmentally just too old for bottles. she knows how to drink out of straws/cups fine. complained a lot for the first 2 mornings, was OK at the 3rd, and didn't whine too much on the 4th days. i expected a full week to transition so i thought she did pretty good. she's definitely not a baby anymore :( (though my short hair girl still looks like one because she doesn't have much hair, hehe) no new teeth from last month, just the same 4 top front teeth, 2 bottoms, and 4 molars she can eat harder food now (like pickles, raisins, and dried cherries!) she freaking loooves pickles, i let her try some for the first time :) loves practicing stepping up and down steps (especially out on public stairs). d

17 month update

man, this year is flying by fast! and she is growing up so fast, too. learning new things every day / week, hard to keep track of her updates :) personal/work: thankfully i've gotten some relief at work (2 folks on my team now) and i'm way less stressed and can actually breathe during the workday. in terms of after the work day ends, we actually got out of riverdale (became too repetitive) and now watching the kdrama: the king, eternal monarch (or something).. 17m now 1 additional molar and the other molar poking out! definitely teething the last few days as she's been slightly grumpier and eats less food: nothing too much new & exciting but i gave her raisins and sliced almonds and i was surprised that she could actually chew & eat it! still loves her carbs and frozen fruit, not as into yogurt now. loves practicing standing and sitting on a mini stool supposed to be transitioning off bottles - she knows how to drink from a straw and getting pretty good at drinking

15 & 16 month update

ahhh i've been so busy i haven't even had time to post her updates! thankfully, there are still some instances where i still remember so i jot down notes on my phone :) but yeah quick update on me since i have a bit of time - i've been SWAMPED at work! i  pretty much work nonstop from 8:45-6 on most days, and after that, we play/eat with Mya til she sleeps around 8-8:30, at which point we just need to chill/relax and watch Riverdale (our new thing) and then go sleep. barely any time to think or have real downtime. this is honestly probably the first real time i've been so challenged and so consistently busy at work. i feel like i've been chugging nonstop since March.. on the weekends, we usually (again) just spend all day with her with no computer/TV so haven't had time to do these! glad i have a li'l chunk of time now (i woke up really early at 5 and couldn't go back to sleep so just knocking out some work so i have less to do on Monday). it's fin

14 month update

can pull to stand confidently new loves: asparagus, cauliflower still loves banana + berries + fruit. tried durian and loved it stopped liking peas as much. LOVES juice - of course, prob the sweetest thing she's had in her lifetime thus far can eat HELLA oatmeal.. prob got that from me two teeth poking from the top and two on the bottom now :) still loves music! bounces up and down and claps when she hears music started cruising along the furniture getting better at balance and standing (assisted). once she learned how to pull to stand, there was 2-3 nights where she didn't want to go to sleep and just stood in her crib or sat there.. thankfully it was a very short phase and she went back to her regular good sleep afterwards (thankfully) one instance where she stood for one second so far! we were so surprised haha, it happened in the middle of the floor when i was reading to her and she just let go for one sec and was soooo excited and proud that she was standing.

4/04/20: How we're dealing with COVID19

kinda funny b/c i just started working and not being at home 3 months ago and here we are again today.. talked to another mom and it's pretty much like being on maternity leave part 2. me and carlo got to enjoy 1 week of working at home without the baby, and then we got a text on a Sunday night that they were closing and I was just like... shit.. how do we work AND take care of baby? you just make it work. at the least, our day just flies by because we're constantly juggling. thankfully, both me and carlo don't need to be 100% immersed in our work at all times, so we just  have mya out in the open and at least one of us will always be partially playing with her. if we have a call then we just go in one room while the other one takes care of her. i think this is one of the best time (age-wise) to be at home with Mya. she's not quite walking yet so we don't have to watch her AS closely, but she's also interacting a ton and you can tell she's learning a lo

13 month update

13 months! She learned a lot this past month (skill-explosion!!) so kind of cool that I still get a nice meaty post for y'all in terms of development :) started picking up things on her tray table and dropping it off the side when she doesn't want something still loves eggs, meat, and any juicy fruits third tooth peeking out on the top! more affectionate than ever!!!! loves being picked up and being hugged and cuddled puts her arms up and opens and closes her hands to be picked up! so cute still not officially crawling and doing a monkey crawl constantly crawls over and brings us toys loves following us around  started being more mobile and actually chasing after toys that roll around can tell that she's observing us more closely and starting to imitate what we're doing loves when we sing to her mischevious smile when we peek at her from around a corner or behind an object started pulling to stand (from sitting) more confidently can transition from lying d

2/14/2020: Baby: 1 year!

baby girl is 1 year old! it's crazy! almost every day i look at her, i think of how big and mature she looks and can't believe that she's already a toddler and that she's going to be walking soon.. ahh.. my baby girl.. i believe she's 28 inches tall now and almost 21 pounds? grew one inch and 3 pounds since her 9 month appointment. she sure is getting heavy! she hit 50th percentile for everything - height, weight, and head. guess everything is starting to normalize now. my mom flew out for her first birthday! it wasn't anything crazy. we just had some balloons and a fake cardboard cutout of a cake (because i want to minimize her intake of processed sugar as much as possible!) and a birthday hat for a photoshoot. unfortunately, she was deathly afraid of the balloons lol but she really liked playing with the hat and fake cake. carlo was blowing up the balloons in the morning before i left for work and she cried when he put her next to one (probably because i

2/2/20: 1 year postpartum update pt2

It's Mya's 1st birthday in about 2 weeks! We don't have anything particularly special planned since we don't have friends/fam out here @_@ just gonna do something small and intimate. Can't even give her cake b/c it's not recommended to give processed sugar to kids under 2 and I don't have baking supplies or care to buy any to make a sugar-free cake! Can't believe it's almost been a full year! I was talking to Carlo about what we should do for Valentine's Day and I was like.. wait.. Mya's birthday takes precedence obviously hahha so guess we're not doing anything :P but I guess that's usually the case for most couples who have been together for a long time. I mean, yea, we'll probably actually do something but it's gonna be low-key. ANYWAY! Trying to think bigger picture about where we were a year ago and where we are now. We've come very far. All of us! I think I've documented most of it along the way. In terms o

1/17/20: (Almost) 1 year PERSONAL update

Almost one year! As you know, Mya turned 11 months! After I submitted my last post, I thought of some things I may have missed. 1) I stopped breast pumping. I had already stopped breastfeeding her since 7 months when she started daycare, but I stopped pumping entirely a couple of weeks ago. I lasted almost 11 months - which I’m very proud of! This decision stemmed from just taking too much time in the morning. I already have to leave the house early (at 7) and if I have to tend to the baby   and  get ready for work, I just.. don’t want to spend that extra time in the morning sitting there attached to a machine. I’d rather spend it with my baby. I didn’t have too many feelings about it. I did do it gradually though.  Some people get really emotional (due to hormones changing b/c of the stop in breastfeeding), or they can even go through pain (like clogged ducts), but weaning caused no issues for me. I did have some light headaches for a few days, but IDK if that was rel

11 month update

Expert pincer grasp! LOVES eating peas. (Using that pincer grasp to eat peas!) Even more than bread and cereal!! :0000   Started feeding herself. I really wanted to do baby led weaning but I wasn't up for the mess and she ate all her meals at school anyway.  I started trying to get her to eat again after seeing a post that you should stop purees after 9 months and eating foods of all textures, so I just put a few things on her plate one day and she started grabbing it and eating it on her own! She used to just play with it and not put it in her mouth, but she's an expert eater now. So much easier when she's older. Eats SO much more now! She used to just have a bottle or two after getting home but now she has a tiny meal with us around 5 PM before she sleeps (in addition to those bottles). Still not crawling but always so close to getting there. She always turns to her side like she's going to crawl but doesn't. She has zero interest in moving haha FINALLY c

01/15/20: First month of working

Happy new year! I'll try doing monthly life updates! I'm definitely a lot busier now that I'm working, and our lives are really not particular interesting :P Baby is also developing slower compared to when she was an infant too but I definitely want to keep the monthly baby update posts until she's 1 (which is next month!) and then we'll see where I go from there. If you're still here, well! I'm glad you care about me (us?) and that you're keeping up! I mentioned last post that I started working again. Working life as a parent vs not as a parent is very different - I would have never guessed. Mornings going to work are rushed since I'm trying to tend to a baby AND get ready. And it's different now because I live an hour away from the office so I have to leave much earlier too. Evenings after work means leaving the office early at 4 and getting home at 5 to spend an hour with Mya before she sleeps. The first couple weeks were pretty hard on me