work-life balance

most of this year i would summarize up to be BURNOUT (from work).

i literally worked a straight 9 hours a day and would feel guilty/stressed if i even had to step like 10-15 minutes to prep lunch - because the work was seriously endless. it was always just being RE-active because there was no time to ever do anything proactively or even look at your work retroactively. it was pretty much when COVID hit that my work became like that - so i dealt with it for about eight months. i didn't really understand what 'burn out' meant but man, do i understand it now after having experienced it. subconciously waking up early to do work because every day was a long day ahead. not being able to have ANY time for myself. constantly wondering to myself why the fuck am i doing this to myself and the guilt of not bringing in income if i were to quit - and with the presence of COVID, feeling like i was ungrateful for hating my situation (having a job even though i was miserable, vs not having a job at all). burnout is real and it bleeds into your personal life. i definitely wasn't my usual happy self and unfortunately my husband had to deal with it as well.

thankfully the right opportunity came up at the right time and i got me out of that situation, but i was really in such a bad state that i would have just quit at that point.

i'm actually back at my old company and man, having leisure time is such a luxury and i fully cherish it now. time to check my personal emails, phone, social media, blogs, etc, while still doing good quality work.

work-life balance is something i will never take for granted again! there was a few times where i made some jokes with my husband in the first couple of weeks back at the new job - and i was like.. holy shit i haven't laughed like that in a LONG time. I'm glad i can be myself again and hopefully have the capacity to update this blog, not only on Mya but maybe be able to throw in some more vignettes/stories and just life updates like this.

see yaaah!