5/9/19: On not using the epidural

More often than not, people seem surprised and shocked that I didn't use an epidural for my delivery. 

"You're so brave for not using the epidural!!"
I've heard a bunch of comments like that. Umm, thanks..? IDK. Is it really that courageous of me? Is it the norm to want to use one?

Do I regret not using it? HELL NO! Then again, my contractions only lasted about two hours (and was only really bad for that last 40-60 minutes when they really intensified.) Then again, by the time I felt like I needed it, I was already in the last stage of delivery. Once the nurses told me I was close, I knew I had it in the bag.

The main factors of me deciding not to use it:

• Epidurals haven't even existed for the last 50 years or so and women have literally been doing it without any drugs for thousands of years.
• I don't like taking medicine/drugs (foreign substances) if I don't have to. I don't even take medicines for colds or flus.
• I'm the type of person who wants to feel in control of my body. I think I would be more anxious if I didn't know what the hell was going on down there.

I was listening to some podcasts and reading my birthing books about how media portrays childbirth as this negative thing using words like "pain" and "horror stories" and in movies, all you see is a woman screaming and sweating. Why does media do that? In life, it's all about perspective. I mentioned in my labor & delivery posts about having read positive affirmations about birth - that really helped a ton in terms of my mental state - and if media portrayed birth as a more positive thing, women wouldn't be so scared of it. Because there's nothing to be afraid of. Giving life to something is such a beautiful thing, and sometimes, it does require a struggle.

As long as you fear it, it will scare you. And as long as you're scared, you're tense. And when you're tense, things will feel more painful. It's just a cycle. Reading that section in my birthing book was really helpful and I think was the main driving force of my own calm headspace during my delivery.