Sleep: Inching there! My body has been forced to exhaustion and I'm able to usually get a 2 hour nap in the day and then I'm able to sleep at night between feedings (from like 10-7 AM with interruptions every 3-4 hours). Also.. I spoke too soon, and we had our worst two nights back to back this week. Baby was possibly going through a growth spurt? Constant cycle of shift changes between me feeding the Mya, Carlo lulling her to go to bed, her waking up, Carlo trying to lull her back to sleep, back to me feeding, and repeat.. for 4 hours or so with no break (AKA no sleep for both of us during this time..)
Body: Soreness down there went away after about a week but still a bit afraid to wipe/pat down so continuing to use the peri-bottle to cleanse down there. Stomach continues to shrink and now mostly looks like I'm a bit pudgy. I've been living in bummy clothes so I have no idea where I'm at in terms of weight or how my 'pre-pregnancy' clothes used to fit. Maybe I'll try wearing a pair of old jeans next week when we have to go out for the 2nd week baby appointment.. though I think I stored most of my regular clothes away because I was like.. welp I don't need these for a few months!
Breastfeeding: Got a lot better from last week - practice is everything. Definitely the most I've ever touched my boobs in my whole life. So interesting that this is the only time your boobs will ever utilize the only function they were made for. I definitely feel like a machine esp. when I feel like I don't have enough milk for the baby. Not excited to start pumping soon, since that will DEFINITELY make me feel like a machine. ALSO, maybe TMI, but I always thought the nipples on pacifiers and baby bottles looked nothing like real nipples. Well, now that I'm breastfeeding, that's what they look like.. LOL.
New parenthood bliss is wearing off, what with lack of sleep and all. I still wouldn't change it for anything - it comes with the territory and is to be expected. All this time before the baby, I was just worrying about the delivery part.. Holy fuck, parenthood is definitely THE HARDEST AND MOST DIFFICULT THING I'VE EVER DONE. That WE'VE ever done together.
In my head, I'm like.. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE WARN ME? I think we always know to expect that it will be difficult, but you never really know HOW difficult until you're just thrown into the fire. You always hear that you won't get sleep.. but.. I didn't know what REAL sleep deprivation was like until now, and man, is it terrible.
Not only that, but you throw in the combination of adjusting to new life of having to nurse around the clock (aka be up and ready every 3 hours or so for at LEAST 20 minutes to an hour to feed the baby, and then to also lull them to sleep) -- and then the seemingly unrelentless and endless cycle of this, and it's a bit dreary to think that.. goddamn, there is really no turning back. AND THEN you add on the extra pressure of feeling overwhelmed about that and into the future...
That could be one of the reasons why a lot of new mamas fall of social media when they get a new baby. Well, the first obvious reason being that you simply have no time to update. The second reason being that it feels like a farce to post something happy about the baby when you feel like absolute shit from what I mentioned above.
I want to emphasize here that I don't have the postpartum blues, but I'm just keeping it real here. It takes a strong person to get through new parenthood. I SERIOUSLY have a new, higher respect for ALL parents now. And even if I did have the blues.. no wonder it's not uncommon: a sudden life change combined with the drop in hormones and the lack of sleep - that's a formula to be down.
Delivery of the baby is only hours at most. A baby is unrelenting and will give you no breaks for the next good few years until they can gain independence. We're taking it day by day until we can get in a good rhythm and routine of things. Thankfully, it's come pretty second nature to both of us -- we're just getting used to flipping (aka sacrificing) our sleep schedule.
My motherly instincts have kicked into full gear - I honestly don't know how I can pop out of bed so fast to nurse her even on so much lack of sleep. I've naturally only needed about 6 hours of sleep to function so it hasn't been TOO bad for me to adjust, though the night she was going through her growth spurts was BRUTAL. It's been a bit harder for Carlo to adjust (especially because he needs more sleep than I do). He was deliriously laughing one morning at how new parenthood is like Army basic training, where you get woken up every few hours to do stupid shit and get yelled at for the sole purpose of attempting to mentally break you down to get you weathered and ready for the tough road ahead. I think after that perspective change, he got a lot better.
It is SO important that you have a supportive partner that can understand and communicate with you effectively. It's hard enough when both of your own individual basic needs aren't met (body, sleep, etc) and both of you have to prioritize your baby before yourself. Don't forget that, even though you're going through shit, the other person is going through shit too. It's important to vocalize what you're going through, and to root each other on and give each other acknowledgement and love. And that should be the basis of EVERY relationship, but it's extremely key when you're going through new parenthood..
OK.. to end on a happy note! My favorite moments with Mya.. which all happen to revolve around feeding time (mostly because this is the only time she's awake and I can actually interact with her..)
Body: Soreness down there went away after about a week but still a bit afraid to wipe/pat down so continuing to use the peri-bottle to cleanse down there. Stomach continues to shrink and now mostly looks like I'm a bit pudgy. I've been living in bummy clothes so I have no idea where I'm at in terms of weight or how my 'pre-pregnancy' clothes used to fit. Maybe I'll try wearing a pair of old jeans next week when we have to go out for the 2nd week baby appointment.. though I think I stored most of my regular clothes away because I was like.. welp I don't need these for a few months!
Breastfeeding: Got a lot better from last week - practice is everything. Definitely the most I've ever touched my boobs in my whole life. So interesting that this is the only time your boobs will ever utilize the only function they were made for. I definitely feel like a machine esp. when I feel like I don't have enough milk for the baby. Not excited to start pumping soon, since that will DEFINITELY make me feel like a machine. ALSO, maybe TMI, but I always thought the nipples on pacifiers and baby bottles looked nothing like real nipples. Well, now that I'm breastfeeding, that's what they look like.. LOL.
New parenthood bliss is wearing off, what with lack of sleep and all. I still wouldn't change it for anything - it comes with the territory and is to be expected. All this time before the baby, I was just worrying about the delivery part.. Holy fuck, parenthood is definitely THE HARDEST AND MOST DIFFICULT THING I'VE EVER DONE. That WE'VE ever done together.
In my head, I'm like.. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE WARN ME? I think we always know to expect that it will be difficult, but you never really know HOW difficult until you're just thrown into the fire. You always hear that you won't get sleep.. but.. I didn't know what REAL sleep deprivation was like until now, and man, is it terrible.
Not only that, but you throw in the combination of adjusting to new life of having to nurse around the clock (aka be up and ready every 3 hours or so for at LEAST 20 minutes to an hour to feed the baby, and then to also lull them to sleep) -- and then the seemingly unrelentless and endless cycle of this, and it's a bit dreary to think that.. goddamn, there is really no turning back. AND THEN you add on the extra pressure of feeling overwhelmed about that and into the future...
That could be one of the reasons why a lot of new mamas fall of social media when they get a new baby. Well, the first obvious reason being that you simply have no time to update. The second reason being that it feels like a farce to post something happy about the baby when you feel like absolute shit from what I mentioned above.
I want to emphasize here that I don't have the postpartum blues, but I'm just keeping it real here. It takes a strong person to get through new parenthood. I SERIOUSLY have a new, higher respect for ALL parents now. And even if I did have the blues.. no wonder it's not uncommon: a sudden life change combined with the drop in hormones and the lack of sleep - that's a formula to be down.
Delivery of the baby is only hours at most. A baby is unrelenting and will give you no breaks for the next good few years until they can gain independence. We're taking it day by day until we can get in a good rhythm and routine of things. Thankfully, it's come pretty second nature to both of us -- we're just getting used to flipping (aka sacrificing) our sleep schedule.
My motherly instincts have kicked into full gear - I honestly don't know how I can pop out of bed so fast to nurse her even on so much lack of sleep. I've naturally only needed about 6 hours of sleep to function so it hasn't been TOO bad for me to adjust, though the night she was going through her growth spurts was BRUTAL. It's been a bit harder for Carlo to adjust (especially because he needs more sleep than I do). He was deliriously laughing one morning at how new parenthood is like Army basic training, where you get woken up every few hours to do stupid shit and get yelled at for the sole purpose of attempting to mentally break you down to get you weathered and ready for the tough road ahead. I think after that perspective change, he got a lot better.
It is SO important that you have a supportive partner that can understand and communicate with you effectively. It's hard enough when both of your own individual basic needs aren't met (body, sleep, etc) and both of you have to prioritize your baby before yourself. Don't forget that, even though you're going through shit, the other person is going through shit too. It's important to vocalize what you're going through, and to root each other on and give each other acknowledgement and love. And that should be the basis of EVERY relationship, but it's extremely key when you're going through new parenthood..
OK.. to end on a happy note! My favorite moments with Mya.. which all happen to revolve around feeding time (mostly because this is the only time she's awake and I can actually interact with her..)
- When she looks drunk and confused and her cheeks are really full and flush from being warm from being against my body
- When she's so full, she can't support her neck and just slumps down like *BLEP* and I have to hold her up but she's just GONE-ZO
- When she's uncomfortable from having gas after feeding and she deals with it by doing this gentle wail with her arms up and it looks like she's trying to conduct a symphony :3
- When her tummy is SUPER FULL from feeding and it protrudes past her diaper and makes her top all stretched out. This is when I call her my jelly belly :)
- She's started doing these cute little.. baby screams? It's like. The beginning of a cry, but not a real scream.
- There was one time this week where she was nursing peacefully with her eyes closed and then all of a sudden just latched off and did her cute little scream-cry.. she must have freaked out when she lost her latch from dozing off.
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